One of the most common reasons for divorce is infidelity. When one spouse has an affair with another person, the other spouse feels betrayed, confused and angry. The scorned spouse may wonder what they did to deserve this and how they can possibly move on with their life.
If your infidelity was the cause of your divorce, you may feel distraught and unsure of what the future holds. While getting over infidelity and divorce isn’t easy, it can be done. Here are some helpful tips to follow.
Realize That You Didn’t Do Anything Wrong
People who get cheated on often think that they did something to prompt the infidelity. Don’t do this to yourself. No one is saying that you’re perfect and never made mistakes, but you didn’t deserve to be cheated on. Recognize that the infidelity was due to your ex’s shortcomings and that you didn’t do anything wrong.
If your ex engaged in sexual relationships with other people while the two of you were still married, there is potential exposure to disease. That’s why you should go to your doctor to get tested for STD’s as soon as possible. The idea of getting tested may be uncomfortable at first, but it’s necessary.
Remain Civil Towards Your Ex
If your ex cheated on you, the last thing you probably want to do is be polite towards them. However, screaming and calling your ex names won’t do you any good. Most states are no fault in terms of divorce, so it likely won’t matter if your partner had an affair. Plus, getting angry with your ex will just make you feel more stressed out. If you have children together, lashing out at your ex will also make them feel uncomfortable. Try to remain as civil as possible towards your ex to make things flow smoother.
Be Thankful for Everything You Have
When you’re dealing with infidelity and divorce, it can seem like everything in your life is going wrong. However, you still probably have many good things in your life, whether it’s loving and supporting family members or a rewarding career. Whenever you’re feeling down about your situation, stop and think about all the good in your life.
Talk to a Therapist
If you’re having trouble getting past the infidelity in your marriage, it may be beneficial to speak to a mental health therapist. You can get your emotions all out in the open in a comfortable and private setting. Your therapist can help you understand your emotions better and teach you how to cope with them in healthy ways.
Even though you’ve been through a lot these past several months, your life will come together again soon. If you follow these tips, keep a positive mindset, and find a good family lawyer in Bloomington, IL, you can get on with the rest of your life and be happy.
Thanks to Pioletti & Pioletti for their insight into family law and moving on after divorce.